Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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