Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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