how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
