I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
