new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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