i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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