you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish you could order shots online.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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