from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
