chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
