quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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