Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
