Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
