She said her name was "party"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
