Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
