and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
