I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
