can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
