names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
