Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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