You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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