i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
