ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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