I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
