I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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