Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
