ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
