Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no you cant smoke seaweed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
