just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
