Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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