im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
