I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
