Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
nutella sex= disaster
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
