I just cut my nipple shaving
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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