Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can I color on your dick again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
