last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's rum buckets o'clock
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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