plz talk dirty to me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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