Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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