You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
