Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
