East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
