I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
