I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
