If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
