I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
