i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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