He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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