Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
