So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are we still banned from the library?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
