You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
