Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
