You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
